For today, I will tell you two stories, about the two types of women that exist in this world. Basically, there are only two types of women as per how ‘we’ relate to companionship issues. That means there are only 2 paths to which a woman can choose to follow, any additions ones are branches that lead to the same paths one time. Challenges are always there and they change with new eras. Be your own judge as to what they should have done with their lives but the truth is, they lived as they chose to.
Female A: She was brought up in the village setting. Hers was a poor background. Her education was hindered by poverty. Since she was an average performer, she couldn’t get a spot at the public university. She opted for a tailoring course at a local college. Time elapsed. She had her share of ‘frogs’, some she took too serious. Life taught her tough lessons every time! She became immune. Built this walls around her that no one could ever get through. The world to her was an unfair ordeal where people either got used or used other people. The wits were her survival means. Anyone she spotted as prey, she would turn predator on him. Mostly, what she needed was financial support.
Then came someone who saw the worth in her. He took her from that level, took away all the responsibilities, tried to wipe off all the mess…. (sounds fictional, but it happens). He saw the best in her at her worst. And for her, she saw the kind of a man she had been wanting. She treated him like she should, nurtured what they had, ensnared him in her traps, he had never been more certain. Since there were no doubts from the beginning till years down the marriage, they were happy.
Then one day a misunderstanding triggered a long chain of hidden emotions; not that they never had any, but it involved allegations made about another woman. The devil within took its toll. First she packed up n went to her ‘birth’ home, the hubby came with his people, apologized and they went back together. However things were never the same again, she became uncontrollable! With the status and wealth she had acquired with her hubby, she had become ‘someone’ in the society. This one thing triggered a blow of events:
1st Account – becoming a female activist and feminist
2nd Account – vying for a political seat as a councilor
3rd Account – zero tolerance for in-laws (saw them as a nag for trying to contain her)
4th Account – being caught up in hauling abusive words and involvement in brawls too
5th Account – throwing chairs at the mayor (who happened to be her hubby’s pal) e.t.c.
Call it madness, I call it unquenchable fury. Once a sweet motherly woman to an uncontrollable power-thirst being.
Female B: Her background was no different from that of ‘female A’. She wasn’t academic-wise better either. She chose to pursue a diploma in teaching. Then furthered to a degree much later, courtesy of 2 harambees her family organized. She wasn’t luckier wit dudes either. She would get heartbroken and pick herself up and completely move on. Nothing altered the way she loved, she only perfected it. Down the line Mr. Right came. They got hitched. Everything was perfect bliss I tell you. She had no problem with him drinking. Though he would not come home on some several nights, he would have the right answers (excuses) with him. She trusted him. I mean, he was different, she knew him better than anyone else did.
Then one night, he was out with the ‘guys’, comes home drunk as usual and she delays opening the door for him. He beats her up until she screams out for her neighbors to come help. As expected, the usual honeymoon period followed. He even nursed her wounds. He did it again and again… Neighbors tried to convince her to go back home but she wouldn’t. What followed was worse! He came home yet another night, drunk silly with….. another woman! He gave her the usual greetings-beating and ordered her out of their bedroom. That time she was nursing her CS wounds after delivering 2 perfect girl twins. The following morning, he ordered her to warm water for him and his ‘lover’ to bath. This became a routine.
Her surgical wounds would not heal from the regular beating. Still, she would not hear about going home. One day one of the twins at age of 3 got suddenly ill and passed on at the hospitals reception, in line waiting in line for a clinical checkup. The woman kept her head up. She bore more of the beatings and putting up with other women in her home. She got pregnant. This time, her skin paled up. She confessed she was not feeling well at all. After delivering her child, she was told by the doctors not to breastfeed the child. She kept strong but her body could not bear any more. Two years down the line, she passed on, left 2 lovely kids behind and still loved her husband to her last breath.
The tales of two women who lived similar lives at first but ended up in different paths. Sentimental is it not?? Love… what we all want/hope/need. When I heard the last story, I decided there is no expert in love. It just flows; it is a kind of insanity if I may call it so. Judging people by whom, why, when and how they came to love is irrational. What the heart wants, the heart wants. Both women were in love, irrespective of how they ended up. For the men, I have no say and no blame... (I wish!! Especially the last one!! Nkt)
What I have been told and lived knowing is that, marriage is a set up by God for companionship and procreation and should NEVER EVER be abandoned. What I witness is wives leaving their husbands, filing of divorce suits, children left confused…. A huge mess!!! I am so not a master of love, it is way much easier to master the ways of passion.
In conclusion, the time and strategy that two people take to come together and identify themselves as 1 and claim to have love for each other, is perfect by and to them. They are as strong as the weakest person in the whole ordeal. The way that two lovebirds relate, is best felt and understood again by the two. A third opinion or party is basically a spoiler or pointless. Opinions from outside are needed to see thing from a different angle but they are not necessarily viewed from the exact point. Whenever I see someone with the capability to hold on even when things go sour, I am amazed by their strength, independence from family, friends & fiends and belief in their partners. Even when they let go, they do so because they have felt the need to, seen it as the best thing to do, got fed up, couldn’t take it anymore, seen it as pointless and many other reasons; and I give them props for their dedication.
