PAIN AND PASSION

He said that he is taking it off right now,

Because he did not understand just how,

How he is going to be with her and take that vow,

So before it is too late he will take a bow.

I knew in my right senses she was more real,

And I was fooling around trying to steal,

What was never meant to be mine and make a deal,

Which I would forgo and never with him make a seal.

Told him honey please don’t take off that ring,

Me & you were never meant to have a special thing,

Can never be, never work so please do not cling,

We just had a typical casual no strings attached fling.

I had to let go because we were never meant to be together

Don’t judge me wrong because for me it’s even harder,

To see him go and be happy-ever-after with another,

So I let go hoping life will get better.

Another episode of love, denial and deception,

Of how emotions get tangled up yet form a partition,

The voids we bear searching for our completion,

We never learn the sequence ever a repetition.

For yet another time stuck in our own world,

As another thrilling and confusing event unfold,

The common mystery often experienced and foretold,

Yet we get to see in blur the words written in bold.

What is from what isn’t

The deepest desires of any human being is to be appreciated, needed, accepted, understood and loved. It explains why we have friends’ circles and why we act nice and pleasant to those we care about; why we put up with them even when they are wrong or infuriate us; why we seek love that comes not only from those we are related by blood but go an extra step to those we have no bonds with; why we look out for our loved ones so that we won’t see anyone hurt them. Basically it makes us feel worth and brings a whole lot of sense as to why we should live life and not just exist.

Among the many kinds of friendships, relationship with opposite sex is most sought. It makes two people feel like they belong together with each other. 88% of songs relate to the state of love which identifies two people together and phases they go through when in love. How they want to be cared for, their various expectations, what hurts them most and such. People at some point in life feel like they need this kind of love and it feels like their sole reason of existence which however is not.

They say behind every cynic is a frustrated romantic and I am neither of these. It is simply proper to sideline feelings and view things from a fair ground. For starters, as people, with our obnoxious desire for love, we tend to fall for just anyone who comes in our way showing the tiniest of real interest. It is like a game where trial-and-error is allowed to the widest extent. As desperate one might be, I most definitely do not believe that all frogs coming your way should be kissed before identifying your true prince(ss).

In the context of what the heart wants, the heart gets; it is true that we go for our heartfelt desires and people depending on how deep we are involved. It is most definite a great feeling to want someone and be wanted in return. To identify that one person you would like to spend your life with and build on your dreams together. It has to be 1, not 2or 5 people. Working on a relationship with one person is tedious enough, wanting to work with different people is simply senseless. When there is something wrong with your partner the red lights and alarm go off in your head, but we tend to ignore the most obvious signs and hope for things to go right. Clearly we are to blame for agony we go through with heartbreaks as we tend to try even harder to work things out that lead nowhere.

Purely physical relationships with no attachments seem to be at the top of the trend. Friends with benefits, having casual fun for convenience purposes for both parties involved is an adventure that many indulge. Getting physically intimate with someone you don’t appreciate is like opening the Pandora box metaphorically speaking. It is never purely physical simple. It is either a rebound over a past experience or a lie we want to live in. If two close friends choose to indulge it interferes with their closeness at some point.

Commitment is one thing that scares people. A whole lot of questions run in our minds like:- what if they are not the one; what if they are just lying; what  if they are not good enough or I am not good enough; how pretty are their exs and how close were they; how different are we from their exs; what if they are not completely over them; what is in their past and can we cope with it; what if we get too involved and find out we can’t cope/compromise; what if they die... When someone’s love is lost, their life is completely thrown off. It happens and that is how life is. As insecure and inferior one may feel, you have to find the guts and say it is your chance to try things out, the person is worth the risk and hope for the best.

Love is an inducement of the mind and heart. There is no expert in how, when, where we fall in love. It is something that works itself out when we thought it wouldn’t. It depends on the two people involved, their creator and destiny. Simple!!!

Yours truly,

Alpha female

RECIPE FOR A GOOD RELATIONSHIP

Being in love, falling in love, living in love... it sounds so cliche! Whenever we see mushy status updates our facebook friends write we kind of get disgusted and wonder how they got themselves in such a position in the first place. Worse yet is when we know the guys/ladies they are dating, and we have seen them at their worst. It tends to beat odds as to why or what our friends saw. Anyway that is being purely judgmental and it is very wrong. In other words, life happens.

To-date I still wonder, what is the force that makes two people live happily for 40 years+ together. Two people who were not raised together, who met after their formation stages meaning every good and bad thing about them come in 1 package and can never be altered. Yet they cope with life as if they belong best together. More like fitting a diamond into its perfect ring. The mysteries of life and love leave one to wonder ever.

At times don’t you just wish there was a formula to fall in love. Whether involving chemistry or statistics, at least we could work it out. The love calculators are fake so I tend to believe and if they work, I clearly don’t understand. Even the powerpuff girls are easier to make: sugar, spice and everything nice... But then unfortunately there is no formula whatsoever, so I tried to come up with a list of what is incorporated to constitute a good relationship.

Friendship between two people is a basic requirement to making something strong. It runs deep to not just being acquaintances but close to confidants. It is a two-way thing where both get to share deeply to what others do not know. They have to feel special to each other. It takes time to create such a bond, to give it a meaning. That is why lovebirds tend to have code names that everyone else does not know. It strengthens their bond and creates a cocoon around them where they grow together emotionally.

A relationship requires investment of emotions and anything relevant as the object of your desire is to make your partner feel loved. It requires sacrifice of yourself to do something that will make your partner feel more appreciated. Trust grows when two people lock themselves in their world, feel the desire to involve each other in their everyday life and learn each other.

 There is risk involved when you get attached to someone but if it is what one wants, it is approvable. Besides that no one really knows where it all leads to. Taking baby steps all the way seems hard but is vital as 2 people get to understand whether they seek same things. It is a mutually inclusive thing where 2 people depend on each other and share a lot in common yet they have differences which the other complements. It is about giving it your best shot by letting your heart go out to where you decide. It happens that when you give your best to something, no matter how it ends up, it never haunts you for not having had tried. At times even your closest friends do not approve, they are afraid for you but if it is what you want, they back you up all the way. Hearsay spoils everything; it is best ignored even when somewhat true.

It happens that when we are attracted and connected to the wrong people, things go sour and we look messed up. We decide never to explore and take such risks. Practically we lock up our feelings and do rebounds perfectly. Then we get someone who revives our feelings which had been so carefully and neatly tacked away. Remembering what the past holds for us, we either: rush things up to waste them or channel them back to the people of the past trying to reconnect. It sounds twisted. It further adds to our agony. At the end of the day, whether or not to explore is a decision that lies on us solely, it is all about the worth we see in someone, the attraction, how ready we are, the will to take the step in that direction. Pure love never returns void.