Being in love, falling in love, living in love... it sounds so cliche! Whenever we see mushy status updates our facebook friends write we kind of get disgusted and wonder how they got themselves in such a position in the first place. Worse yet is when we know the guys/ladies they are dating, and we have seen them at their worst. It tends to beat odds as to why or what our friends saw. Anyway that is being purely judgmental and it is very wrong. In other words, life happens.
To-date I still wonder, what is the force that makes two people live happily for 40 years+ together. Two people who were not raised together, who met after their formation stages meaning every good and bad thing about them come in 1 package and can never be altered. Yet they cope with life as if they belong best together. More like fitting a diamond into its perfect ring. The mysteries of life and love leave one to wonder ever.
At times don’t you just wish there was a formula to fall in love. Whether involving chemistry or statistics, at least we could work it out. The love calculators are fake so I tend to believe and if they work, I clearly don’t understand. Even the powerpuff girls are easier to make: sugar, spice and everything nice... But then unfortunately there is no formula whatsoever, so I tried to come up with a list of what is incorporated to constitute a good relationship.
Friendship between two people is a basic requirement to making something strong. It runs deep to not just being acquaintances but close to confidants. It is a two-way thing where both get to share deeply to what others do not know. They have to feel special to each other. It takes time to create such a bond, to give it a meaning. That is why lovebirds tend to have code names that everyone else does not know. It strengthens their bond and creates a cocoon around them where they grow together emotionally.
A relationship requires investment of emotions and anything relevant as the object of your desire is to make your partner feel loved. It requires sacrifice of yourself to do something that will make your partner feel more appreciated. Trust grows when two people lock themselves in their world, feel the desire to involve each other in their everyday life and learn each other.
There is risk involved when you get attached to someone but if it is what one wants, it is approvable. Besides that no one really knows where it all leads to. Taking baby steps all the way seems hard but is vital as 2 people get to understand whether they seek same things. It is a mutually inclusive thing where 2 people depend on each other and share a lot in common yet they have differences which the other complements. It is about giving it your best shot by letting your heart go out to where you decide. It happens that when you give your best to something, no matter how it ends up, it never haunts you for not having had tried. At times even your closest friends do not approve, they are afraid for you but if it is what you want, they back you up all the way. Hearsay spoils everything; it is best ignored even when somewhat true.
It happens that when we are attracted and connected to the wrong people, things go sour and we look messed up. We decide never to explore and take such risks. Practically we lock up our feelings and do rebounds perfectly. Then we get someone who revives our feelings which had been so carefully and neatly tacked away. Remembering what the past holds for us, we either: rush things up to waste them or channel them back to the people of the past trying to reconnect. It sounds twisted. It further adds to our agony. At the end of the day, whether or not to explore is a decision that lies on us solely, it is all about the worth we see in someone, the attraction, how ready we are, the will to take the step in that direction. Pure love never returns void.
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