AGING IN DOG YEARS

Does everyone ever get so many things running through their minds till you feel confused, inadequate? Well, I should not be asking something so obvious, right? This has been my life since November last year. I will not even go to details. A few months down into it, it felt as if I had lost everyone literally. I was so sucked up in my own roll-a-coaster life ride. It felt like it had been forever. When you are always thinking, mentally tired and fatigued, it feels as if you have aged in 'dog years'. One day, you feel twenty, thirty, forty or fifty something and the next, ancient. You literally forget where you keep things or keep losing them, bumping into people in hallways and you feel off for lack of better ways to explain.

Throughout this period though, there have been far too many lessons that life had in store for me, the four Fs.

1. Family
This is the solid foundation for everyone. God's gift to us. I do not know what we are without these people who sacrifice so much. When we despair, they despair. When you are down, they sink with you to get you out of whatever zones you are stuck in. These guys, are one of the main reasons I pick myself up and try harder.

2. Friends
They say at your worst, you discover your real friends. A sad truth. A really rather sad one... We go along life thinking everyone means well. But not everyone feels like so. Anyway turn your energy on all the positive things happening in your life. There are these friends, who are more like family to us. It feels like they have been there with us since forever. I do not know about people scooping up pieces of broken people from floors. However, I know of strong people who I have called day after the other, disturbing them. I keep asking them what I am supposed to do. They keep encouraging and reminding you that after whatever situation, it bears fruits. It is never for granted. No matter how long the storms last. My heaven-sent angels.

3. Faith
Initially I thought storms in life last a week, a month at most.... But some last awfully long. At times we just have to be still, and let God. Growing up in Kenya, in Africa unlike other parts of the world, you are brought up religious. You do know of existence of God. But to experience Grace, firsthand when you feel hopeless; to realize how merciful God is, when you just get to wake up and do things without being sure that you are strong enough, this changes your perspective to life. I call this the realization of the walk of faith and your role in life on earth.

4. Fear
Fear is a bad feeling. When you are afraid, often you cannot bring yourself to tackle a task. Fear of failure is the most common of all. Many viable opportunities are missed out because one feels inadequate, incapable. My understanding now is, just give it a shot. You will surprise yourself. These inadequate moments, show you how much stronger you are.

So, confused, afraid, tired, stressed or anything else, just keep on going. God knows why and He got you. God does know that you are inadequate and He likes it. Worrying does not change the problem, in fact it creates problems you never had.

Do not give up. Nothing is permanent.